Goodbye. My dream.

What a night.. After so many days..
I'm guilt ridden and made up my mind.. I feel so lacking..
And since no one reads this anymore, I decided to rant here..

Finally I made up my mind..
I listened to what my dad told me..
I'm giving up my dreams..
I couldn't go far with it..

"Treat it as a hobby, don't be too into it." that's what he said.

This night.. I would heed that advice..

This few days I've been thinking.
Maybe dad was right?
This thing I've concentrated on so much has pulled my grades down.
Then I thought of what a good friend of mine in poly told me.
I thought it was kinda true..

I'm grateful though, to be able to play.
"It's a girly instrument!"
"You cant do big,after you complete your grading, diploma? It's just a piece of cert. You can teach but class nowadays are cheap how much you can earn?"

Some questions and response I get,
Bleh, I liked it so what it's girly. If I could teach I would like to spread my knowledge, for now I wouldn't care about the salaries, I got no family to feed.

It is like a bunch of balloons. But it always get shot by arrows.
Every since I entered tertiary, more and more arrows shot it down. I lost hope.
There are still some balloons left. Till tonight, I decided to release it myself.
After this 2 years, I'm gonna find something realistic.


Practice? I couldn't play much even though im trying..sheesh..damn my injuries. How precious my fingers were.
I didn't realize till I entered tertiary. Much regrets.

To tell you my dreams, it will be a laughing stock to everyone.
To be a cool and awesome player and also somehow a composer.
Who cares? Like i said, Laugh all you want. I know I'm no where near it anyway..

I didn't wanna be part of this circle anymore. I didn't even make a step into it though.

But I'll continue to learn and play. For myself, for leisure, for entertainment. I'm gonna be selfish~

As someone I know said, "If you can play, let others listen to it, let them feel what you are playing, don't be selfish and play for yourself." sorry senior, but I'll be that selfish one.. I don't deserve to play to anyone too..

Haha dreams?
I'll sink them..