Goodbye. My dream.

What a night.. After so many days..
I'm guilt ridden and made up my mind.. I feel so lacking..
And since no one reads this anymore, I decided to rant here..

Finally I made up my mind..
I listened to what my dad told me..
I'm giving up my dreams..
I couldn't go far with it..

"Treat it as a hobby, don't be too into it." that's what he said.

This night.. I would heed that advice..

This few days I've been thinking.
Maybe dad was right?
This thing I've concentrated on so much has pulled my grades down.
Then I thought of what a good friend of mine in poly told me.
I thought it was kinda true..

I'm grateful though, to be able to play.
"It's a girly instrument!"
"You cant do big,after you complete your grading, diploma? It's just a piece of cert. You can teach but class nowadays are cheap how much you can earn?"

Some questions and response I get,
Bleh, I liked it so what it's girly. If I could teach I would like to spread my knowledge, for now I wouldn't care about the salaries, I got no family to feed.

It is like a bunch of balloons. But it always get shot by arrows.
Every since I entered tertiary, more and more arrows shot it down. I lost hope.
There are still some balloons left. Till tonight, I decided to release it myself.
After this 2 years, I'm gonna find something realistic.


Practice? I couldn't play much even though im trying..sheesh..damn my injuries. How precious my fingers were.
I didn't realize till I entered tertiary. Much regrets.

To tell you my dreams, it will be a laughing stock to everyone.
To be a cool and awesome player and also somehow a composer.
Who cares? Like i said, Laugh all you want. I know I'm no where near it anyway..

I didn't wanna be part of this circle anymore. I didn't even make a step into it though.

But I'll continue to learn and play. For myself, for leisure, for entertainment. I'm gonna be selfish~

As someone I know said, "If you can play, let others listen to it, let them feel what you are playing, don't be selfish and play for yourself." sorry senior, but I'll be that selfish one.. I don't deserve to play to anyone too..

Haha dreams?
I'll sink them..

Always feeling like this during exams... I really want to give up and pursue what I really want. Engineering isn't my choice, but since i've stepped into it, I would want to complete it... Money is always the issue. I wouldn't want to waste my parent's money. I've paid the school fees, so no matter what I gotta finish it...

I'm just gonna post a few songs before leaving, cos i wont be back soon and i believe these songs can keep ya'll entertained. Or should i say, this is my playlist that have kept me entertained for few month... Top few songs are Kpop, most of them CN blue.... The rest english rap, mostly....

Yonghwa - Because I Miss You

Yonghwa, Seohyun - Banmal Song

yonghwa - You've Fallen For Me

CN Blue - I'm A Loner

CN Blue - Love Girl

CN Blue - Friday

Wiz Khalifa & Snoop Dog- Young Wild and Free feat. Bruno Mars

David Choi - Missing Piece

BOB - Don't Let Me Fall.

Tupac - Ghetto Gospel

Tupac - California Love feat Dr Dre

Some of my songs in my playlist. Respects to Tupac~

alright. till next time~

you are my destiny~~~~

Still lalalala-ing all the way... I'm doin it manxz~

Guess what, PART 2~~
cant upload the original mv, but i heard the girl in the mv is haha's sister. gosh!!

haha enjoy my bball session today,

super tired,

going to sleep already...

update next time. 

enjoy the songs :)

Screwed :(

I should be sleeping now due to MST paper tomorrow.... But I can't fall asleep... Too worried for the paper tomorrow. anyways just post a cheerful song :):) by HAHA!

It's like stepping into a fight without weapons. That's what I'm experiencing now..

I did prepare for it, but too last minute and it wasn't enough.... Here here take a look at my table! A big huge mess, it's awesome if you could see my laptop -.-

Oh well..
I'm dead..
Try sleeping..
Nights

kkkk im sorry, can't get over this song yet >.< too nice :D:D

LOL another english song.....NICE NICE NICE!! ^^

kk lets get started.

basically, before MST period, I tend to give up myself.

So in other words, I'm fucked~

But still will try my best la~ haha

Yesterday went school to study,

ended up studying only 1 chapter of IBE

simple stuffs. hard things not here yet.

Then gossip during dinner etc etc~ hmmmm

hope camp will do well, but now priority, MST! 

today went food testing.

food was ok, edible....

LOL rested for the whole day~

tomorrow got dental,

confirm get scolded one.

I didn't put my bands for a whole month. haha

I'm screwed :x

kkk shall rest early..

nights :):)

I'm so sorry, but i love you~

Lets post both Kpop and english songs~ haha

kkk im sorry, but Nicole is too cute :x gotta post her videos!
the Kpop song appeared in dream high and i find it nice so I'll just share it with ya'll

kkkk today was crazy for me!
dafuq was wrong with me?!?!
k i totally hated people touch my wallet and taking my things out.
But still not a reason to be mad...
I'm sorry my friends :(:(
~im so sorry but i love you like a $%^&%~
won't happen again~

kkk back to related stuffs.
here it is~
Rachmaninoff Piano Concerto 2!!
hehehe sorry, totally addicted to it :x

kkk the 1st movement only~ haha lazy to find all 3~
so if u think its nice, look it up on youtube~
k its late, shall sleep~
byeeee~

Tupac- Life Goes On..
kkk not a happy post today..

On my way home, had some thoughts. My life has been quite a failure. Thus this song kinda come out.. Tupac was my inspiration. He didn't care what was right or wrong, as long as he thinks that its right, he'll do it. He don't think what others think of him. He'll just say what he wants do what he think its ok. So even though my life so far has been a failure, life do goes on. He also said this "Death is not the greatest loss in life, the greatest loss is what dies inside while still alive". 
Second thoughts..........


Mr Lee is back to SPCO~
And SPCO going have new committee~

I wonder what are the changes... 

Anyways really moody these days.......

know whats going on now.......

tsk~


my old miserable days, hardcore ciggs, hide myself away....
my actions killed me~~~~

ha im gone~~~

KPOP CRAZE~~
Black and White, feat JinWoon from 2AM~~~

kkk lets not just use Kpop, how about some english songs. PayPhone, and seriously, this girl is really cute, and with a sweet smile.. gosh!!!! 

kkkkkk lets post something~ been missing for sometime.

FOC success! great! Better than my bonding camp. I super failure \m/
actually come to think of it, I care too much for people thats why, I no leadership skills and I fool around too much also. kk don't talk about the past~ haha

After FOC went dinner, Ann and one freshie was like laughing non-stop as usual. LOL fun people around. 

They said I look like fish.. kk hope they won't start calling me fish.. Bird is the nick i already have.. and its awesome. 

And one more thing i've been stuck for sometime, really confused..

Since start of poly life, I've not been enjoying its much. As in studies. I really don't like engineering. as a matter of fact, i hate physics. But I'm not using it as an excuse. Still I'll try my best. Now got Anatomy and physiology. Make things worse. A&P still ok la, But Introduction to Bioengineering, that's the killer. I don't know how to do the practical and tutorials. So dead. 

considering for a course change. But I year 2 already, and I wasted 1 year in secondary school. Quite old already. Should I still change? They ask me this question, "would you rather waste 3 year or you life doing something you don't like?" The answer is obvious, but still I'm worried about my parents. So i'm stuck. hais...

kkkk vomit some problems out already. 

its getting late. 

shall head to bed.

nights readers :)

Kim Jong Kook song, old song. but catchy~ hehe Lovable~

kkk terror started again, school begun~a week ago basically. 

Monday was the most tedious, 12-5.30 at the same class, only different module.

started for a week only and I'm already feeling tired. 

Age is catching up :x

hmmmm tomorrow 10AM school. sucked!!! LOL!

kkkk I'll post a happy post. LOL i start of with a happy and nice song. hehe

Its great see-ing the current camp comp working well. haha 

camp chief got sense of urgency~ 

hais unlike me la eh~ lol super failure~ 

This week CCA carnival. win~ 

super scary~ why my liuqin skills so lacking? 

lol wasn't like that when I'm in secondary school~

Anyways I'm gonna smoke again, as usual *ahem*

~ lol rely on QiWei~ 

hahahahahaha

kkkkk better study abit, wait kena scolded like just now~ 

So paiseh :x

byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

you're lovable from head to toe,
I'm so proud to to have you as a gift~ 
hmm nice lyrics~ so sweet~ 

3AM in the morning. Lets just post something since i'm really bored.

start of with a song again.
Japanese Rock by a Korean Band...

I liked it though.....

I’m searching where you are

 Oh, shining down on me from where you are

 I’ll always be right there, baby, always’ll be right there, baby 

Oh, please touch my body and my face

 I’m searching where you are 

Can you see what I need is where you are 

I’ll always be right there, baby, always’ll be right there, baby 

You know when I can be where you are

 Only then I willl shine bright

Got the scores for the competition already.. im really afraid of it. last grade + this competition...

my teacher is very encouraging though, told me to treat it as an experience.

I know i've got no chance at all! But to be frank i would want to get the 1st prize. Dude, $2000 and the eligibility  to apply for up to $8,000 in financial assistance to subsidise for training and development! it will be great man! Gonna ask for as many help as possible.... 

Manjusri anniversary this coming Thursday, not really looking forward to it. but since Kelvin, Desmond and YuRen performing, im gonna take a look. Things should look right~ then Friday, im off to Malaysia all the way till Sunday. \m/

lol i think what my friends are right, i like to isolate myself. But I got no idea when i'm left in a corner or alone. I'll just walk my path or when in a room, i'll like to find the cozy corners and rest there. Thus being isolated myself. haha oh well, I'm a loner(tsk, i really like this song, haha). 

School is starting soon, and i think i'll be in a different class with my friends again. hope its not a all boys class again. Retaking 2 modules. And since its year 2, i'm being thrown into the choice that i didn't pick at all. thanks ah SP. Give me a fucked up course that i have no interest in, then after i try studying to get into a choice i wanted (k i know i failed 2, ultimate fail.), i kena thrown into the same shit again. sheesh, this really sucks.

now i'm left with 2, and they are only to be known at the end of this year.

hopefully my efforts will not be wasted.... 

wow its long,

gotta end

rock on peeps \m/

Whats up~

having been missing for sometime now. back to update \m/
here's a song before i start~

K this is 2AM's new song. its real nice, sad song though :x

I'll post the translation later, gotta repeat the song. haha then you'll know its nice \m/

enjoy :D

kk back to topic.
didn't really went missing, the holidays was both awesome and boring. Ended up not working and having fun instead. went to Batam with Aaron and Terence. Wasn't that fun la, but was great hang out with them.

going off to Cameron highlands and Ipoh next week with my family. Its been like more than 10 years since i went there. Gonna enjoy myself there. twin sharing room, means i'll be sharing with bro~ heh miss me peeps \m/

on the other hand. the boring part is...
when the others wasn't free, i was real bored. After practicing i basically had nothing much to do... so went to watch Dream high 1 and 2. and after 1 week, I'm done with them. So nothing to do again. trying WGM again. wonder the couples are nice now.

Then i found 1 couple, Eunjung and Jangwoo. But then dunno for what reason, they stop broadcasting from march 31, so im going to run out of stuffs to do again... what to do??

k ba shall end here and updating again next time. heh
oh the translation of the song,

As I only think of you all day long

A stream of tears flows on its own

Because in every step I take, your image keeps haunting me

Even when I'm working, again they flow without me knowing

(Woo hoo hoo hoo hoo) Even when I sing

(Woo hoo hoo hoo hoo) Even when I walk on the street

(Woo hoo hoo hoo hoo) All I think of is you

I wonder if you're hurt like me

I wonder if you're crying like me

I wonder if all day long you're living in memories like this,just like me

Even reluctantly, there are so many things to smile about

Like a roly poly doll, like it's given, I smile

(Woo hoo hoo hoo) Even when I watch TV

(Woo hoo hoo hoo) Even when I meet my friends

(Woo hoo hoo hoo) All I think of is you

I wonder if you're hurt like me

I wonder if you're crying like me

I wonder if all day long you're living in memories like this,just like me

Because I smile everyday

Because I only let you see me smile, maybe you only know that I'm happy

How am I supposed to smile? How am I supposed to smile? When you're not there

I smile then I smile, even so, again the tears flow

I wonder if you're hurt like me

I wonder if you're crying like me

I wonder if all day long you're living in memories like this,just like me

sad sad sad....
Appreciates Changmin voice \m/
nights friends ^^

Exams and alot of videos :(

Weeee kpop again. Chu by f(x)

k exams period now, i think i'll survive through DE.....Hopefully~

Second paper today. Math~ Hope i can pass lo, hope la~

third paper on 27th.... PEEE..... confirm die sia. 6 credit somemore~

hais................

how to survive exam?? die liao can??

so depressing now............

i'll post a whole tons of songs now.......

headache ah!!!!!!!

:'(

....................................

bye~

HEYO~!

Happy Valentines:)
Last year, this day, I was working @ sentosa.
somehow i miss that place~
Although I only miss Hut 7..
and the peeps there.

Here's a song dedication.
This Song is for peeps out there who have someone in mind
but unfortunately cant get them~

Here's the translation.

Even though I want to buy you a pretty necklace
Even though I want to take you out on a ride in a nice car
Even though I want to dress you in nice clothes
Even though I want to take you to nice places

This hand that I put inside my pocket grabs nothing
How can I get you
My position doesn't suit you
Regardless, can you stay by my side

The only thing I can give is this song
All I have is this voice
Even if this makes you laugh
But I still sing
I hope you accept it

Even if you say it's okay
Even if you say it's okay if I have you
Even if you say you're happy everyday
Even if you say you don't what anything more

Pretty, good things; fun, cool things
You obviously want to do these things too Baby
You know that if you stay by my side I can't do these things
Regardless, can you stay by my side

The only thing I can give is this song
All I have is this voice
Even if this makes you laugh
But I still sing
I hope you accept it

I only have this song
I really have nothing but this voice
I don't know if this will make you laugh
But I still sing
I hope you accept it
I hope you accept it

Nice huh?

My 2nd favourite K song.

why some bands and groups are so under-rated?

Aaron say after I got a weird haircut i became very emo.

then after that, my dressing got 50% cine kia?

dafuq is wrong with him?

i where got emo?

and where got dress like cine kia?

hmmmm

alright i must get some sleep now.

gotta continue with revision tomorrow.

Enjoy the song.

Seriously~

its damn nice.

nights people :)

~recaps~

Lets start of with a song, Kpop again~ hahaha f(x)- Nu Abo
1st time listening not that nice, but after 4 to 6 repeats I find the tune quite catchy.
hope you guys like it~
psssst, keep listening to it. you'll like it too ;)

I shall whine and talk things out here ba. if not i'll go mad.....

Was reading the old blog of mine...

I've been single for almost 4 years...

time flies....

valentines coming~

hmmmmmmmmmmm

 

~AND~

all of my childish post last time....

so awkard reading them again...

those sweet talks to my ex, cursing my friends, my style of typing.  

haha so funny!!

Some awesome events that happened

I broke my my finger on 4th November 2009

I was in a relationship on 18th June 2008

I went to Qingdao for CO exchange trip on 2nd December2007

I came back from Cambodia CIP on about 8 December 2009

Alright for the moment stop the recaps.

Gotta go back to revision and preparation for DE lab test.

I don't think i can make it this semester.

Regret alot in poly life now.

why didn't I study??

I've retained O level once.

Still haven't learn my lesson

Why did ever pick up guzheng stuffs?

Dafuq? It wont bring me far...

If im a good player...still ok~ maybe i'll excel

but im really nothing. 13 year on it.

wasted about 4 years.

seriously......... whats the diploma for?

Go take for what?

so many GuZheng players in the industry...

wanted to be the best.....

its just gonna be a dream....

should I quit CO??

stop everything~

just plain study?

forget it la, shall stop whining~

im a failure....

where is my stepping stone??

long post..

who cares?

not much people reading it~

its been long since i feel so bad about myself.....................................................

#nowplaying 2AM This Song..........................

What was i thinking?

I shouldn't think this way....

I cant!

I feel................dead? down?

New year is ending soon. 2 more visits to make. Eldon's place and Eugene's place. I don't feel like going. Exams dates are driving me crazy. I don't know what to do. I didn't listen in class and everything. So how am I going to pass this year? Gone case. If I fail do i still have a chance to stay in SP?

Handed in PLJ today. 733 words. Should be alright ba. my evidence, I took photo and recored an audio clip of a part of a piece. Hope I can score well for it. Next for Gen Ed is picture essay.

OH GOSH!! WHAT AM I GONNA DO?!?!?! EXAM!!!! 21ST FEBRURY!!!

Yesterday i watched to last episode of Adam couple WGM. :'( why must end? wa really sad sia.
YongSeo wasn't that bad. Adam broke up was real sad..... now I'm catching Khuntoria couple. WGM fan sia me. :x the on going couple i don't know one so i don't think i'll watch.

Oh dear this post is so wordy~ :x
2.30am now.....
here's a video to share.

find this song quite nice......

alright i got to go now.

seeya~



~feelings cant be discribed by words~
~gone with the wind~

Songs songs song~

Sharing with you peeps.........

my favourite K-rock song~ woooooooohoooooooo!!

HAHA alright my friends Happy Chinese New Year!! \m/

hope you guys recieve alot angbao like i did today! heh

I've recieved 5 of them!! Happy Guy now!! LOL!

hmm why are my eyes are BLACK! :o

But it wasn't really a nice day,dad really spoiler..

keep bossing around, nb its new year leh!!

can chill?!

just have fun la -.-

then relative really pisses me off....... _|_

kkkkk forget it ba,

since new year, I shall also chill :D

hahaha

shall update about Aaron's birthday night party during the next post \m/

It was fun, ppl drunk, hahaha wait for it ba :)

#nowplaying CN Blue- Love Girl

kkk off i go

Bye Bye :D:D





As usual, start off by posting a video

2AM- This Song

New year is coming~

What I expect the most is.... ANG BAO of course. LOL!

cos got money ma, who doesn't want it??

kkk abit sian today la, waited for 2 hour for Eldon and WS.

wait and wait and wait and wait.

oh yeah! here's a photo again~ listening to Rock~ wooooots!!!

#nowplaying- Alter Bridge's Metalingus

so anyways, I found the Facebook of the girl i met for this sem's gen-ed class.

oh well, she joined only 1 class though.. but still rmb her face. so sweet looking. ahhhhh~

nothing much to post lo,

planned an outing for my co clique. but not very responsive.

hais how how how? so sad, i dun wan stay home on weds leh.

if never go out, they also got activity. why i no activity!! :(:(

Oh yea, went watch I not Naughty today. Its hilarious but some parts quite touching lo.

The teen girl like really sacrifice her hair to flim this sia,

omg~ so brave, i don't dare shave my hair sia!

Respect sia~

kkk shall end here, enjoy the emo song

2AM!

hmmm Changmin & Jinwoon voice like super super super super super super nice~

hahahaha

bye bye :)

Awesome Awesome Awesome

Lets post a song first before i start.

Jea and Nasha so pretty sia. in their 30s already some more. woosh!

kk lets start,

first I wanna annouce to the world that i've got a new haircut again! this time i think its ok la, slope at the back, overlap at the right and trim everything. hmmm i dunno leh, i kinda like this one compared to the spiky ugly hairstyle. \m/

here is a pic or the front, LOL

Tell me its nice please. LOL!



At first the hair dresser wanted to shave the overlap part, but in the end he decided to cut it damn short. So its ok la. not that bad. HEHE

Yesterday went for practice.

of course played LiuQin. So sian. I don't like. but bo bian. hais hais

GUZHENG GUZHENG GUZHENG!!!!!! I saw them took it out. But not i play, there is this girl playing. So sad, i wan play!!

So practice some CNY songs then one annual performance song.

Thanks to guidance of QiWei, i managed to play some parts. Impressed Impressed :D:D

Got performance on 31st Jan and 4th Feb i think. Hopefully i can smoke thru \m/

I so lousy in LiuQin. And i lazy practice. And im playing it the wrong method.

should i start learning everything again?

but time consuming, i wanna put time into practicing GuZheng.

I did all the things I aimed for the last post, except calling the driving instructor.

I didn sleep in class, i was attentive, kkk i was late by 5 mins. I foreverlate la, so bad habit.LOL

kkk i shall stop here.

enjoy the abracadabra~

totally like it.

but not as much as CN Blue's loner~

hahahahaha

Bye Bye~

SUP fellas~

Super bored can? Im lazy to just do anything. my hair is in a mess, my school work are fucked, ain't practicing much any more. lalalala im so dead :'(

RESCUE ME SOMEBODY! HELP ME! SOMEBODY! KILL MA ULTIMATE SLACKING ATTITUDE!!! DAFUQ IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!?! WAAAAA!!!

I haven't called up for practical driving lessons. So my tomorrow's aim are.

1. CALL THE F*CKIN DRIVING INSTRUCTOR!!
2. Try listen in class
3. Try not to sleep in class.
4. Try to be punctual :)

4 objectives. \m/

School haven't been starting well this semester, I dunno what the hell the lecturers are talking about. How I hope I was listening since semester 1. sad sad sad, regrets regrets regrets :(
Hopefully I'll do well for the final exam.

I've decided to remove my playlist. Cos on every post, i'll be posting videos and songs, so just click play and the song will roll \m/

alright its 3.08am now,
and i'll be sharing this song:)

Good night my friends:)

wee 100th post

Good evening,

this is the 100th post! \m/ awesome.

Now i regret not studying for the first semester and term3. Im so behind, i gotta find a way to get back. I hope this semester I can score real well. hais why I so lazy & no dicipline for myself. K la now i hope not too late la, tomorrow going practice. So sian, Kelvin and JunSian not going. Wonder Serene will go anot.


Can i share a song again? Its K-pop again too. LOL

kk This song! 2AM also. \m/

~emo songs~

kk its still early but going sleep le, this few days so tired.

Must study study and study!!

oh yea i forgot.

my luminous green jacket!!

i missed it.

gotta get it back from Angie.

kk off i go :)

bye bye :D:D

2nd day of the year

The day is ending soon...
Went temple pray, but in the end, i went off early. I feel damn bad about this. Went parkway. Jalan Jalan with Aaron and Eldon. Then went teoheng sing song sing song. Now i abit no voice ah~ hahaha keep challenging high songs. So fun!! But overall for me it wasn't a good day. Cos I somehow got pissed and lost my temper. And mum keep nagging, so i somehow argued ah. I wonder why I turned out to be like this.

Im So Sorry~ But I Love You~

Just downloaded this 2 songs today, so nice so i decided to share. haha

Both songs by 2AM, somehow i think they sing alot better than 2PM.
The music emotional. LOL but its nice!!

kkkk 11.30 liao, 2molo got school.
TMD!!
must sleep early.
kkk night night

bye bye :)

2012

This will be the first post of 2012.

2012 starts off without a bang. Hmm nevermind ba, 2011 didn't really start off well, so just end 2011 quietly and starts off 2012 silently too. So bored, thought bros will stay out late and hang out. But in the end all went off.

Mum and Dad went Marina to watch fireworks, hope they see them, Mum love those fireworks :):)


so in the end i'm left alone again~ lol so emo~ oh yea i forgot my 2 forever with me items. haha

oh well. LOL if anyone is reading this, how did YOU celebrate new year?!

have a nice new year!
bye bye :)